i cannot fucking remember

A few days back, I fell asleep with a sense of deep accomplishment.  I was lying on my couch, I was perfectly comfortable, listening to music…  I had a few candles glowing on the other side of the room.  I had a glass of cold water on the table beside me.  I was staring at the ceiling, and I had this idea.

It was like an entire post at once, it felt very poignant and charged, and I fell right asleep, thinking to myself, ‘Tomorrow I’m finally going to write something of worth.’  I was so certain that an idea this perfect, this connected and sharply formed, would last till at least the next day.

I realized the next evening, as I was having my dinner, that I had forgotten it completely.

I’ve been going out of my mind looking for it since Monday.  I’ve been short with people, ill-tempered and ornery.  I remember none of the details; I am only left with the ghost of it’s presence.  I feel haunted by my failure to preserve it.

Fuck.  How proud and bold one acts when he finds the answers he had looked for – in his haste to enjoy rest from the walk, he wanders off the path.

~ Driz

~ by drizitche on March 26, 2009.